British Summer Fashion is a Game of Chance
One moment, you’re basking in the sun (in Scotland, less of the basking), and the next minute, you’re caught in a downpour that makes you think you’ve arrived in monsoon season. My advice? Layers, darling, layers! A summer dress, a cardigan, a waterproof coat, sandals, and wellies are all required. Don’t forget your brolly, which doubles as a stylish accessory and a makeshift sword, wand, or walking stick when you need a bit of adventure or extra stability once the gin’s kicked in.
The Family Invasion
Summer holidays mean the grandkids descend upon you like an excited swarm of hyperactive seagulls, eating you out of house and home. However, if you’ve got teenage grandkids, it might be more like a moody Mary with the attitude and presentation of a sloth. Keep that goodie drawer topped up and remember to stash the gin for later once they leave and you need to regain your sanity.
The Beach Expedition
A day at the British seaside is a unique experience. You pack for the beach like you’re preparing for an expedition to the Arctic: windbreakers, blankets, and enough snacks to feed a small army. Don’t forget the bucket and spade – for some reason, we Brits never outgrow our love of sandcastles and crabbing. If you’re lucky, you might even get to paddle in the sea, which is approximately the same temperature as liquid nitrogen. You might also see a few turds, old plastic bags, and many other things that really should not be floating in our sea! But hey, maybe it’s a good time to teach the younger generation how to be more mindful about our oceans.
The Sunburn Saga
Despite the clouds, the British sun has a sneaky way of turning you into a lobster. I’ve learned the hard way, so slather on the sunscreen. Teach those kids to wear sunscreen as the song says, “everybody’s free to wear sunscreen.” Nothing ruins a summer day more than feeling and looking like a well-cooked prawn. And remember, those wide-brimmed hats aren’t just for show – they’re your best defense against sunburn and unwanted freckles. Plus, they make you look rather fabulous, much more glammy, much less granny.
The BBQ Debacle
Grilling in the garden sounds idyllic until you remember that British summer is a myth perpetuated by BBQ manufacturers. One moment you’re flipping burgers, and the next, you’re rushing to save the sausages from a torrential downpour. The trick is to keep calm and carry on – with an umbrella in one hand and a spatula in the other. If all else fails, have the number for the local chippy on speed dial.
The Summer Events
Every village has its summer fair, or every town has a music festival with its charming mix of homemade cakes, tombola stalls, camping, alcohol, and food stalls, and yes, of course, the inevitable rain shower. It just wouldn’t be the same without everyone pretending they don’t mind being soaked to the bone. There’s nothing like a soggy sandwich or burger and rain-filled beer. Yes, there is! It’s a warm, dry camper van or, even better, a hot shower and dry clothes, with a cold beer, ice in your gin, or a good cuppa tea. No more dancing naked in the rain for me; those days are gone. That would do nothing for my arthritis.
So there you have it, a true British summer. Embrace the chaos, laugh at the rain, and cherish those rare sunny moments. After all, it’s the unpredictable nature of our weather that makes us appreciate the good days all the more. And if all else fails, there’s always gin, lots of gin.
Preparing for Summer with the Grandkids Requires Some Tactical Planning and Frequent Visits to the Met Office Weather App!
I salute all those grannies who are preparing to tackle and survive another British summer.
The Family Invasion
Summer holidays mean the grandkids descend upon you like an excited swarm of hyperactive seagulls, eating you out of house and home. However, if you’ve got teenage grandkids, it might be more like a moody Mary with the attitude and presentation of a sloth. Keep that goodie drawer topped up and remember to stash the gin for later once they leave and you need to regain your sanity.
The Beach Expedition
A day at the British seaside is a unique experience. You pack for the beach like you’re preparing for an expedition to the Arctic: windbreakers, blankets, and enough snacks to feed a small army. Don’t forget the bucket and spade – for some reason, we Brits never outgrow our love of sandcastles and crabbing. If you’re lucky, you might even get to paddle in the sea, which is approximately the same temperature as liquid nitrogen. You might also see a few turds, old plastic bags, and many other things that really should not be floating in our sea! But hey, maybe it’s a good time to teach the younger generation how to be more mindful about our oceans.
The Sunburn Saga
Despite the clouds, the British sun has a sneaky way of turning you into a lobster. I’ve learned the hard way, so slather on the sunscreen. Teach those kids to wear sunscreen as the song says, “everybody’s free to wear sunscreen.” Nothing ruins a summer day more than feeling and looking like a well-cooked prawn. And remember, those wide-brimmed hats aren’t just for show – they’re your best defense against sunburn and unwanted freckles. Plus, they make you look rather fabulous, much more glammy, much less granny.
The BBQ Debacle
Grilling in the garden sounds idyllic until you remember that British summer is a myth perpetuated by BBQ manufacturers. One moment you’re flipping burgers, and the next, you’re rushing to save the sausages from a torrential downpour. The trick is to keep calm and carry on – with an umbrella in one hand and a spatula in the other. If all else fails, have the number for the local chippy on speed dial.
The Summer Events
Every village has its summer fair, or every town has a music festival with its charming mix of homemade cakes, tombola stalls, camping, alcohol, and food stalls, and yes, of course, the inevitable rain shower. It just wouldn’t be the same without everyone pretending they don’t mind being soaked to the bone. There’s nothing like a soggy sandwich or burger and rain-filled beer. Yes, there is! It’s a warm, dry camper van or, even better, a hot shower and dry clothes, with a cold beer, ice in your gin, or a good cuppa tea. No more dancing naked in the rain for me; those days are gone. That would do nothing for my arthritis.
So there you have it, a true British summer. Embrace the chaos, laugh at the rain, and cherish those rare sunny moments. After all, it’s the unpredictable nature of our weather that makes us appreciate the good days all the more. And if all else fails, there’s always gin, lots of gin.
Preparing for Summer with the Grandkids Requires Some Tactical Planning and Frequent Visits to the Met Office Weather App!
I salute all those grannies who are preparing to tackle and survive another British summer.
Comments
Post a Comment